Hello and welcome to the blog and the first post for 2014...and I have no idea why there are apparently more people reading the blog in the USofA than in Australia, but welcome as always...and I do apologise again if I offended with my Astrological Predictionings with associated Language Warning, but there was just no way to better encapsulate what I hope to achieve this year.
'Spose I could have gone with 'Don't Mess With a Scorpio', or 'It's Possibly Unwise To Upset a Scorpio' or something similar, but really that would only be scratching the surface. As I stated, it is a prediction, a promise, a statement of fact, a commitment to working harder and more effectively...and it's only a warning, only a threat if you're one of those who feel threatened by the blog...outside of that I'm more of a danger to myself than anyone else...(clumsy bloody hippy-Ed).
Anyhoos, to restore the balance after yesterday's venting and carry-on, I'd like to open the New Year with a little something I heard late yesterday on the ABC/BBC about dolphins...I nearly fell off the chair...and far more uplifting than the series of interviews I heard on the same program the other day about what bastardry the major supermarket chains Coles and Woolworths visit upon our primary producers...but that's for another post.
Asthmatic Yuppy Dolphins: have provided the bestest, funniest story of 2013...by sheer fluke I managed to catch the tail-end of a tale about some dolphins...(and the prize for most bad puns in one sentence goes to TMGI-Ed)...yeah, sorry about that...unfortunately I didn't catch where it was, but apparently researchers have observed dolphins repeatedly using puffers to induce a state of relaxation.
(Whaaa? is this some story about 'Plastic Pollution' in the world's oceans, and mammals, birds, etc, mistaking these plasticky bits for prey species and accidentally ingesting large quantities, to the extent that species that regurgitate to feed their young, eg, Albatross, kill their young by effectively filling them with indigestible rubbish, leading to the bizarre landscape of nest sites littered with small, neat piles of bottletops, breadbag tags, cigarette lighters, and assorted bits of plastic crap like Ventolin inhalers, all neatly contained by a little ribcage?-Ed)...errr, no...
(Or about 'Morbilovirus' and/or some sort of lung infection that has something to do with the toxic sludge spewed out of Adelaide's Desalination Plant early last year (March?) that added significantly to the pollution already pouring out of the Onkaparinga and Torrens Rivers, the Sturt Creek outlet via the Patawolonga at Glenelg, and multiple other run-offs and/or drains, etc, leading to the massive fish die-off and a concurrent but officially 'unconnected' spate of 30+ dolphin deaths-Ed)...ahhh, nup...
(What about a combination of the 2...something about the medicinal polluting of our waterways, environments, etc, with medical waste, excreted and/or discarded medications, anti-biotic over-use in livestock, poultry, etc, potentially compromising the effectiveness of those medications in the future, possibly causing increased cross-species disease transfer, and/or causing effects in the food chain, often at gene level...eg, excreted 'oestrogen' entering water systems and affecting the gender of 'indicator species' like newts, salamanders, and frogs?-Ed)...again no.
And those don't sound like very amusing stories...no, this is about some dolphins who were spotted getting hold of the infamous Puffer Fish and giving them a jolly good gumming...(a gumming?-Ed)...yep, the dolphins are grabbing the Puffers out of their hidey-holes on whatever reef it is, and giving them a jolly good gumming, rolling them around in their mouths repeatedly but eventually spitting them out unharmed and the Puffers then swim back to the reef, basically unharmed, and straight away I was fairly sure I knew why...(bizarre...and aren't Puffer Fish poisonous anyway?-Ed)...exactly.
The dolphins were then observed to "hang vertically" in the water just under the surface in a trance like state...the interviewed researcher said it looked like they were staring at their own reflections...and even before he said it, it was immediately confirmed to me my first thought about this 'gumming behaviour', namely, that them there dolphin's are stoned to the bejesus, just like the dirty hippies of the sea that they are...(sorry, sorry you've lost me now...what hippies?-Ed)...
It's an old 'hippyism' that licking the 'bufotoxin' (I think?) excreted by agitated cane toads will cause hallucinations, etc, as a result of a mild poisoning...similar reactions are at play with caffeine, nicotine, etc...and so it is with the Puffer Fish...(oh yeah, yeah, the Japanese restaurant thing where specially qualified chefs carve up Puffers and the resultant mildly poisoned sashimi gives a tingle on the lips and even mild euphoria-Ed)...exactly...well that's what the dolphins have learned to do...a combination of both.
(Oh, of course...the dolphins are gumming the Puffers who naturally then excrete their toxin bizo that the dolphins are imbibing and then getting very, very stoned...them cetaceans are stone-cold tripping-Ed)...exactly...(it's just like that 1960's American show about the kids with their pet 'wild' dolphin-Ed)...sorry?...("They call him Tripper, Tripper, spaced out on Fugu...no-one you see, is more baked than he...they call him Tripper, Tripper, looped-out cetacean...nothing in the sea is more wasted then he"-Ed)...brilliant...(yeah, but where do the yuppies come in?-Ed).
Well is there anything more yuppy than sashimi?...(well no-Ed)...exactly...and is there anything more sashimi than eating the fish alive and then spitting it out, still alive?...(no I guess not-Ed)...well you can't get anymore yuppy or hippy than that, sashimi that swims away from the meal that it was part of...(fair enough-Ed)...
(Eeek, eeek, I can't feel my beak-SD1)...(dude, look at my flipper, look, look, look at what my flipper does heek heek heek-SD2)...(excuse me while I kiss the sky-SD3)...SD?...(Stoner Dolphin-Ed)...ah of course.
And there's also the famous footage from decades ago (on the Interweb I'm sure) of monkeys, birds, elephants, and I reckon a warthog or two, getting absolutely hammered on fermented Persimmons...monkeys and birds falling out of the tree, an elephant staggering about then half asleep leaned up against said tree, etc...all completely plastered on Persimmon Schnapps...hilarious.
Derailed Train Fire: in the USof A has been burning for nearly a day already and will continue to burn because no-one wants to go near it 'cos there's the potential for explosions...I believe that no-one was hurt in the crash, but at least part of the load of diesel has already ignited in a huge mushroom cloud of flame as terrifying as it was spectacular...a town 5km away has been evacuated because of the huge plume of toxic smoke billowing off the still burning diesel and oil, and a wind change would make that town vulnerable.
And as I manage to get back on the Internet again in the late afternoon (bloody thing just dropped out again for 4-6 hours) it is reported that the fire has burnt itself out and that Casselton, North Dakota is no longer in danger from the fume plume...and I was just throwing this in as an example of my point about the Mt Gambier Ambulance and Fire Stations being located near the rail easement...there was also a terrible crash mid-year in the USofA where a train de-railed and exploded, flattening a local bar and killing a dozen people.
That's enough postage for one day, so,
Tomorrow: Some City Council Stuff
(It took you a whole 2 days into the New Year to get stuck into Council-Ed)...how do you know I'm going to get stuck into them about something?...(seriously?-Ed)...
I am Nick Fletcher and this is my blog...cheers and laters...
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