Hello and welcome to the last post on this here blog for the year that has passed, good ol' 2013...but at what point do we decide that this year should be celebrated?...or do we look to embrace the infinite opportunity of the year ahead?...or are we just never tiring of excuses to get pissed...(ooo look, fireworks-Ed)...
So today we take a gentle stroll into my heart of darkness, my broken heart so full of hope...the descent is easy, it's just the shrekin' trekkin' back again that's a real beyatch...accepting reality and actually living in it are two very separate kettles of fish...it genuinely breaks my heart to see what has or hasn't happened over the last year...and when it comes to the St Martins Issue, that same pain has hung on me for over a decade now.
It will come as no great surprise to regular 'availees' that I personally have not celebrated Christmas or New Year for some time...in fact, I barely even celebrated my own 47th birthday recently...I make no secret of nor apology for the fact that I have been so overwhelmed by other things going on in and around my life, that these 'celebrations' have become almost trite reminders of how far removed I am from the 'community' that I'm supposedly part of...and why and for what?
Whilst I can say that I have occasionally on occasion in my earlier life got very casually very bent out of shape...(shall we say euphoric?-Ed)...yes, lets...however, I'm by no means any sort of party animal, and I've never once enjoyed any of the very few times I've gone out in Mt Gambier...I've never felt comfortable or safe because I've generally been on my own and have always had people just staring and glaring...(in your defense it was generally women staring and men glaring-Ed)...whatevs...but it gets worse...
(Worse?-Ed)...every time, and I mean every time I went out I'd run into my child's mother, my ex-partner...(ooo ouch-Ed)...exactly, that's some small town bullshit right there...not a great time for either of us and a direct knee to the groin of any idea of a 'fun' evening...that's what it's like when you still have a degree of affection for someone and a child together but aren't together yourselves...(sorry, I didn't mean to poke fun-Ed)...no, it's cool, it's just the shizzle...it is what it is...and it gets worse than that...(worse than that?...do I really want to know?-Ed)...
Surely...my various failed attempts at any other relationships were destined to their demise by the always prevailing all pervading sense of cheating on my child and ex-partner...my commitment to being a father and/or to my child (and I've never been certain which navigates and which steers) demanded and produced an almost tangible commitment to my child's mother to the extent that trying to be with some-one else felt like cheating...on both mother and child...(wow dude, sob, that's one of, sob, the most beautiful, sob, things I've ever, sniff, heard-Ed)...yeah, well if you ask me, it sucks.
And this is just my version of what I understand to be a not uncommon experience for people in these sort of fragmented relationships, particularly when they're vaguely decent people who give half a rat's arse for their ex and child/ren...(vaguely decent? half a rat's arse?...that's setting the bar fairly low isn't it?-Ed)...well, I like to include myself...(ah self-deprecatingly witty Wilde, self-deprecatingly witty-Ed).
And these days I just don't go out full stop, not least of all because I have no-one to go out with...what the Lutherans, SAPol, Rory McEwen, and City Council, etc, haven't done to Pariahtise and isolate me over the St Martins Cover-up...(and several other parents involved-Ed)...well quite, it's not just me that's been attacked and suffered for it...anyway, what they haven't done to me I've effectively done to myself...together we've been highly successful in making me a very angry, cynical old hermit...(and that's no way to live-Ed)...quite...
I have quite deliberately distanced myself from other people whom I like because I was desperately concerned to not drag them into my bullshit and therefore under the the looming thunderhead of Pariahtisation and retribution...and others have put this to me exactly as I believe it to be...put simply, people are terrified to speak out because they get their businesses threatened.
I am aware of several 'incidents' where those telling me have claimed interactions with senior Council staff that have started as jovial bribes, moved quickly to terse insistence, before disintegrating into open hostility and direct threats...unfortunately but understandably, it has been quite emphatically asked of me, and I have promised, to not mention these incidents specifically...I can only ask that readers accept me at my word that these things have happened.
(Don't you think it's a bit much to blame Council though?...I mean, I understand the whole agenda of 'character assassination' the Lutherans, SAPol, Rory McEwen, etc, visited on yourself and other parents to denigrate and discredit you in your local community as part of their collusion to Cover-up the gross abuse of a class of 7 year old children at St Martins Lutheran School-)...hey that's my line...(but how is Council responsible?-Ed)...
Well you've read the previous posts re the implicit involvement in the St Martins Cover-up of Mayor and 2010 Liberal candidate Steve Perryman, the St Martins stuff referenced but not identified in the secret report Council did about me and released via The Border Watch, my extensive engagement with numerous Councillors re the St Martins Issue...(yeah, yeah, ok, I get it...nobody on Council can claim ignorance as an excuse for failing to act, and in the case of Steve Perryman, his behaviours have been specifically focused on helping the Lutherans cover-up the St Martins issue-Ed)...well quite...
And again I refer to but ignore the advise I've repeatedly had to not post about things that could be used against me, but what is there to hide?...this is what I suffer because of what has been deliberately done to me, and I see nothing to celebrate and have become so cynically jaded that I find that my dominant and prevailing thought in these situations is 'what the shrek is wrong with you people?'...'what the shrek are you celebrating?'...and I know that realistically the problem is largely mine not theirs...
Breaking News: The Board of the Ardrossan Hospital in the Copper Coast (Moonta, Kadina, Ardrossan, etc) has for some reason chosen today to announce that they will close the 5 beds 'private' section, with the loss of 6-7 full-time nursing positions...unfortunately this unit is considered unsustainable because it costs nearly $20,000 a month to operate with often only 1-2 patients because many potential patients attend another public hospital only 15 minutes away...
Reportedly the 68 bed resident aged care section will continue to operate along with the medical practice unit, which is some good news dragged out of the fire...however, the immediate obvious consequence is that those losing their jobs will be hard pressed to gain employment in their field in that immediate area, and of course that's going to impact drastically on them and their families, and that effect trickles through the community economically as well.
And to close, a little astrological advice that is a promise that is a New Years Resolution that requires it's very own Language Warning...this year I'm going to fetch my freak flag and my light out from under yonder bushell and let it all hang out, let it all fly...and I apologise to readers of gentle disposition and genuine intent, but you know who I'm talking to when I say that it doesn't matter what star sign they are because their horoscope is always the same...all day, everyday...week in, week out...
Horoscopic Language Warning: Don't fuck with a Scorpio.
Tomorrow: 2014 - A Brave New World
I am Nick Fletcher and this is my blog...may your god bless you and your families and if there's any blessing left perhaps I could have a small bit...just a bit...cheers and laters.
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